mydogsnokes:

There are some automatic toilets that need 2 chill the fuck out

(via serafina--delight)

incredulousbeliever:

dionthesocialist:

It’s hilarious that non-Americans on Tumblr are all like “OMG DENNY’S TUMBLR MAKES ME WISH I LIVED IN AMERICA SO I COULD EAT THERE,” while us Americans will literally only eat at Dennys if it’s 3 in the morning and we’ve lost control of our life.

You don’t go to Denny’s. You end up at Denny’s.

(Source: dion-thesocialist, via theperpetualnow)

bones-and-bricks:

daftpostpunk:

did Jesus pay for our sins with cash or credit

he used praypal

(via warrior-of-nature)

sethrogenlaughing:

don’t bully cis people, white people, straight people, and men. the fuck is wrong with y’all

image

the-merry-rochesterian:

aaaaaaand now i remember why i gave up tumblr for lent

kalopsiantheory:

hello yes i would like to thank jesus for lint rollers

ihannavi:

Sometimes Im afraid that all of my followers are just people that barely use their tumblrs and followed me on accident. 

watersaltandsky:

I need money. I should sell myself on the streets.

  • me: posts thing
  • me: waits two seconds
  • me: checks notes
  • post: no notes
  • me: i'm so alone in life

addictiondragon:

I bet I don’t get notes on text posts because people are just too jealous of my whimsical humour… Ya that’s it